- Patience. Unfortunately, the first thing I learned in Germany is that public restrooms are not free. They are not always clean, or supplied with toilet paper. And they are definitely not always easy to find. Traveling with children, we naturally needed access to a bathroom many times. Needless to say, we had many interesting, frustrating, and creative bathroom experiences. So the Lord brought His Word to mind: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient …” (Ephesians 4:2)
- Blind faith. Cologne’s Cathedral (Kölner Dom) was awe-inspiring. Its construction began in the 1200s and wasn’t officially completed until 1880. That’s over 600 years! This means that the men who designed and began building the cathedral never saw their work completed. Countless men poured their lives into the building of this masterpiece, knowing that they would never get to see the finished product. This reminded me of Abraham, Moses, and all the others in the Bible who did not get to see the end result of what they were moving toward. “All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth.” (Hebrews 11:13)
- Trust. This was the first time I’d been to another country where they speak a language other than English. It’s a hard feeling to conceive of unless you’ve experienced it, but it can be quite frustrating! Imagine you’re wandering the streets, trying to find your way, but you can’t read any of the signs. You try to ask for help, but the people’s words sound like gibberish. Or imagine that you’re a child trying to join a friendly game of soccer with some other children. You want to make friends and joke with them while you play, but you can’t understand a word they’re saying. A language barrier can feel like you’re trapped behind a wall or inside a bubble – you can see what’s happening on the other side of the barrier, but you can’t join in. It was in these moments that I turned to God the most on our trip. Because I know that our God can speak any language, I talked to Him whenever I felt frustrated with the communication obstacles. I found myself relying on the Lord more and more, which is something I know He wants me to do all the time anyway!
- Love is a verb. However, volleyball can be played in any language! Our missionary friends hosted a 4th of July/German outreach event while we were there, held in their neighborhood park. An American mission team from Georgia was on-hand to perform American music and lead some line dancing. I attempted the line dancing for one song, but when I saw that there was a group of young people playing volleyball, I opted for that instead. I bet we played for over an hour, and it was a lot of fun. It was a friendly game where we didn’t keep score, so there were a lot of laughs. And even though I couldn’t verbally share Jesus with those kids, I prayed that He would shine through me anyway. “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.” (Matthew 5:14)
- Passionate compassion. God is moving in Germany, and He has a great compassion for the lost there (just as He does for all of His lost sheep everywhere)! Honestly, for a long time the first thing that came to mind when I thought about Germany was Adolf Hitler and his horrible holocaust of World War 2. And naturally, that thought does not exactly spring up a well of compassion in me for the Germans. But through the experience of this family mission trip, God opened my eyes and my heart to a people who are not that different from me. Immersing yourself in another culture reveals a new world that exists and functions thousands of miles away – but is filled with regular people who do ordinary things every day, and who go through pain and hard times just like everyone else. As I sat in the train station one night praying for Jeromy and the missionaries who were trying to engage passersby with free coffee and tea, I was suddenly overwhelmed with compassion for everyone I saw. The God of the universe gave me a glimpse of His unconditional love and steadfast longing for the precious souls of this world. “The Lord . . . is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9)
Friday, July 20, 2012
What I Learned in Germany
Earlier this month my family made a 10-day trek to Cologne, Germany and back. We have some missionary friends there who invited us to stay with them and work alongside them as they strive to touch people there with Christ’s love. Taking our entire family on this trip was an eye-opening experience for all of us, and I would like to share a little bit about what God taught me.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Prayer of Thanksgiving
Dear Lord,
I am so overwhelmed right now, and so overcome with humility and thankfulness. Saying “thank You” is nowhere near enough. Because I know I don’t deserve the blessings You’ve given me. And how fitting that this experience, this prayer is happening on Easter morning!
Father, we define Your grace as “unmerited favor.” This morning, I am fully aware that the huge gift You gave my family this weekend is totally and completely unmerited. I can’t speak for my husband or my children, because of course I think they deserve every happiness and blessing. But speaking for myself, I know that I do not deserve a gift like this. But somehow, Father, in Your unfathomable Love, You always manage to show me just how unconditional Your Love is in the most amazing ways.
For one thing God, I know that my children would not even be here if not for Your grace. I was going through such a tough time of depression, anger, and isolation from You . . . it’s not as if I can say that I was like Hannah, praying with an unwavering faith as I asked for a child. No, You decided to bless me with two beautiful, healthy children DESPITE MY LACK OF FAITH. What is that? Why do You do that?
Why did you do that again for me, for my family? To be honest, my faith has been lacking. I’ve even consciously thought to myself, “God will never bless us like that.” But then, Lord, You did. You answered my prayer that was offered to You with only a mere mustard seed-sized faith. Perhaps even smaller. It’s almost as if You saw my heart and said, “Okay Jessica, I’m going to prove you wrong again. Let me just show you how much I love you, despite your shortcomings and even your failures. Nothing you could ever do, say, or think will ever lessen the unending love I have for you.”
So, God . . . thank You. I can now shout from the rooftops without any reservation that the One True God is a God of love and grace, and that He always gives good gifts to His children. And thank You for this glorious Easter morning, and for what it means. We are filled with joy and hope because of Jesus’ death and resurrection!
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? . . . For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation [not even ourselves], will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
~ Romans 8:31-32, 38
I am so overwhelmed right now, and so overcome with humility and thankfulness. Saying “thank You” is nowhere near enough. Because I know I don’t deserve the blessings You’ve given me. And how fitting that this experience, this prayer is happening on Easter morning!
Father, we define Your grace as “unmerited favor.” This morning, I am fully aware that the huge gift You gave my family this weekend is totally and completely unmerited. I can’t speak for my husband or my children, because of course I think they deserve every happiness and blessing. But speaking for myself, I know that I do not deserve a gift like this. But somehow, Father, in Your unfathomable Love, You always manage to show me just how unconditional Your Love is in the most amazing ways.
For one thing God, I know that my children would not even be here if not for Your grace. I was going through such a tough time of depression, anger, and isolation from You . . . it’s not as if I can say that I was like Hannah, praying with an unwavering faith as I asked for a child. No, You decided to bless me with two beautiful, healthy children DESPITE MY LACK OF FAITH. What is that? Why do You do that?
Why did you do that again for me, for my family? To be honest, my faith has been lacking. I’ve even consciously thought to myself, “God will never bless us like that.” But then, Lord, You did. You answered my prayer that was offered to You with only a mere mustard seed-sized faith. Perhaps even smaller. It’s almost as if You saw my heart and said, “Okay Jessica, I’m going to prove you wrong again. Let me just show you how much I love you, despite your shortcomings and even your failures. Nothing you could ever do, say, or think will ever lessen the unending love I have for you.”
So, God . . . thank You. I can now shout from the rooftops without any reservation that the One True God is a God of love and grace, and that He always gives good gifts to His children. And thank You for this glorious Easter morning, and for what it means. We are filled with joy and hope because of Jesus’ death and resurrection!
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? . . . For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation [not even ourselves], will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
~ Romans 8:31-32, 38
Friday, February 3, 2012
Some Reasons for the Hope I Profess
Some Reasons for the Hope I Profess
In no particular order…
·
If ever I find myself doubting the truth of Jesus, all I have to do is look at the
changed lives and subsequent heroic deaths of the original disciples – to me
that is more than enough proof of their encounter with the true and living Son
of God.
·
Whenever I end up lying in bed and crying into my pillow out of utter sorrow, worry, or
fear . . . He always stills my heart with His inconceivable peace.
·
He is taking my experiences with miscarriage, depression, and a premature baby and
working it all for good.
·
Even in the midst of my rebellious days, He gave me the gift of a precious best
friend who was grounded in His Word and loved me unconditionally.
·
At my lowest point, when I couldn’t even love myself . . . He showered me with
love and blessings incalculable.
·
He has answered my prayers, giving me immeasurably more than I could have asked or
imagined.
·
I have heard His still, small voice.
·
He has given me purpose, letting me do things that I’m passionate about.
·
I can know more about Him and His wonderful character by reading my Bible in a
free country.
·
Jesus has never left me or forsaken me.
·
I can see in my mind’s eye the wonderful vision of my lost friends running into
His arms.
·
Even my children speak truth to me in moments of profoundness.
·
At my poorest, He provides for me and sends gifts through family, friends, and
even strangers.
·
My God saved me from the pit, and kept me from sinking into submersion.
·
He inspires me to create and share things with others.
·
He continues to purposefully bring needy people across my path . . . people whom I
can comfort with the comfort I have received.
·
I have seen Him perform miracles, even healings, as an answer to prayers.
·
When I have failed, He has always lovingly helped me get back up and move forward.
·
He has shown me that His forgiveness knows no bounds.
·
I see from my own life and from the pages of the Bible that God has a tendency to
want to use flawed people for His purposes.
·
I am blown away that even though God knew we would rebel against Him and sin, some
of us choosing not to love Him, He created us anyway.
·
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
(Romans 5:8)
In no particular order…
·
If ever I find myself doubting the truth of Jesus, all I have to do is look at the
changed lives and subsequent heroic deaths of the original disciples – to me
that is more than enough proof of their encounter with the true and living Son
of God.
·
Whenever I end up lying in bed and crying into my pillow out of utter sorrow, worry, or
fear . . . He always stills my heart with His inconceivable peace.
·
He is taking my experiences with miscarriage, depression, and a premature baby and
working it all for good.
·
Even in the midst of my rebellious days, He gave me the gift of a precious best
friend who was grounded in His Word and loved me unconditionally.
·
At my lowest point, when I couldn’t even love myself . . . He showered me with
love and blessings incalculable.
·
He has answered my prayers, giving me immeasurably more than I could have asked or
imagined.
·
I have heard His still, small voice.
·
He has given me purpose, letting me do things that I’m passionate about.
·
I can know more about Him and His wonderful character by reading my Bible in a
free country.
·
Jesus has never left me or forsaken me.
·
I can see in my mind’s eye the wonderful vision of my lost friends running into
His arms.
·
Even my children speak truth to me in moments of profoundness.
·
At my poorest, He provides for me and sends gifts through family, friends, and
even strangers.
·
My God saved me from the pit, and kept me from sinking into submersion.
·
He inspires me to create and share things with others.
·
He continues to purposefully bring needy people across my path . . . people whom I
can comfort with the comfort I have received.
·
I have seen Him perform miracles, even healings, as an answer to prayers.
·
When I have failed, He has always lovingly helped me get back up and move forward.
·
He has shown me that His forgiveness knows no bounds.
·
I see from my own life and from the pages of the Bible that God has a tendency to
want to use flawed people for His purposes.
·
I am blown away that even though God knew we would rebel against Him and sin, some
of us choosing not to love Him, He created us anyway.
·
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
(Romans 5:8)
Saturday, November 26, 2011
First Pride, Then the Crash
Just when I thought I was doing okay in my relationship with God . . . just when I thought, “Hey, I’ll write a blog about how trustworthy God is so that I can encourage people and tell my story of victory” . . . right about the time I was feeling pretty confident in my fight against the fears that have so often plagued me . . . my proud house of cards came tumbling down, and everything I thought I had learned was put to the test.
I’ve kept it no secret that FEAR is one of my biggest struggles. After going through the traumatic experience of Eli’s early birth, I began to fear all the bad things that could happen. I also began to question the trustworthiness of God. Of course, I never consciously said, “I don’t trust you, God.” But all my fears and all my questions – well, all they spoke for themselves. It took several years for me to work through it all. But when I finally did, God even allowed me the opportunity to share my story with some other women who were very encouraged by it.
I suppose we never fully realize when we’ve gotten over-confident until something happens to test that confidence, to see if it’s still placed in the right person (God or ourselves). My test came the other night when I received a sudden, potentially serious injury in a freak accident. It seems so unreal, and I keep wondering how in the world it happened. As I was getting back into our vehicle with my kids, somehow I turned with just enough umph, and the passenger-side door was closing on me with just enough speed, that I popped my forehead on the corner of the door and busted my head. I instantly fell to the ground, and my kids immediately began to freak out. There was a lot of blood, and many tears and screams from my children. Fortunately my husband was with us, so he drove me to the ER to get checked out.
As I sat in the car on the way to the hospital, I felt so close to losing consciousness. But I knew that if I passed out, my kids would be even more scared than they already were. Plus, that’s just a scary feeling in itself – the feeling that you’re about to lose yourself into the unknown. So I was fighting that feeling with everything in me. I leaned forward as far as I could to put my head between my knees, and I began breathing in long, slow breaths. After about 5 minutes I finally felt that horrible feeling subside, just in time for me to get out of the car and visit the ER. Thankfully, in the end I was okay. The doctor said I had a slight concussion, but I didn’t need stitches. He bandaged me up and sent me home with orders to watch for signs of a worsening concussion.
Two days later, my body was no worse for the wear (although I was still in pain) . . . but my mind and heart were a different story. On the second night as I was trying to relax and go to sleep, I finally cried. I suppose I had been holding back for the kids’ sake, trying to be tough. But suddenly my mind was filled with fear and doubt. Why did God let this happen to me? Sure, it wasn’t so bad – but look how easily and suddenly an accident can happen. Our human bodies seem so fragile sometimes. What if Jeromy hadn’t been there to take care of us? What if it had happened to one of the kids? What if I had been knocked out? I must have done something wrong to deserve this. But what did I do? I guess I just deserve this for what a horrible person I am.
I sounded like a baby Christian – not a seasoned believer who’s been walking confidently with Christ for the past several years. At that moment I had been sorely tempted to fall back into my old habits of beating myself up and wallowing in self-pity. But I knew better. Even if my rantings were all true – even if God really was disciplining me – even if it had been worse – God is still God. And I can trust Him because He’s my heavenly Father, and He loves me. All that time when my confidence had been building, at some point I had shifted from being confident in God to being confident in myself. But this incident put everything back into the right perspective.
Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands. . . . He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. ~ Psalm 112:1, 7
You, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. ~ Psalm 86:15
I’ve kept it no secret that FEAR is one of my biggest struggles. After going through the traumatic experience of Eli’s early birth, I began to fear all the bad things that could happen. I also began to question the trustworthiness of God. Of course, I never consciously said, “I don’t trust you, God.” But all my fears and all my questions – well, all they spoke for themselves. It took several years for me to work through it all. But when I finally did, God even allowed me the opportunity to share my story with some other women who were very encouraged by it.
I suppose we never fully realize when we’ve gotten over-confident until something happens to test that confidence, to see if it’s still placed in the right person (God or ourselves). My test came the other night when I received a sudden, potentially serious injury in a freak accident. It seems so unreal, and I keep wondering how in the world it happened. As I was getting back into our vehicle with my kids, somehow I turned with just enough umph, and the passenger-side door was closing on me with just enough speed, that I popped my forehead on the corner of the door and busted my head. I instantly fell to the ground, and my kids immediately began to freak out. There was a lot of blood, and many tears and screams from my children. Fortunately my husband was with us, so he drove me to the ER to get checked out.
As I sat in the car on the way to the hospital, I felt so close to losing consciousness. But I knew that if I passed out, my kids would be even more scared than they already were. Plus, that’s just a scary feeling in itself – the feeling that you’re about to lose yourself into the unknown. So I was fighting that feeling with everything in me. I leaned forward as far as I could to put my head between my knees, and I began breathing in long, slow breaths. After about 5 minutes I finally felt that horrible feeling subside, just in time for me to get out of the car and visit the ER. Thankfully, in the end I was okay. The doctor said I had a slight concussion, but I didn’t need stitches. He bandaged me up and sent me home with orders to watch for signs of a worsening concussion.
Two days later, my body was no worse for the wear (although I was still in pain) . . . but my mind and heart were a different story. On the second night as I was trying to relax and go to sleep, I finally cried. I suppose I had been holding back for the kids’ sake, trying to be tough. But suddenly my mind was filled with fear and doubt. Why did God let this happen to me? Sure, it wasn’t so bad – but look how easily and suddenly an accident can happen. Our human bodies seem so fragile sometimes. What if Jeromy hadn’t been there to take care of us? What if it had happened to one of the kids? What if I had been knocked out? I must have done something wrong to deserve this. But what did I do? I guess I just deserve this for what a horrible person I am.
I sounded like a baby Christian – not a seasoned believer who’s been walking confidently with Christ for the past several years. At that moment I had been sorely tempted to fall back into my old habits of beating myself up and wallowing in self-pity. But I knew better. Even if my rantings were all true – even if God really was disciplining me – even if it had been worse – God is still God. And I can trust Him because He’s my heavenly Father, and He loves me. All that time when my confidence had been building, at some point I had shifted from being confident in God to being confident in myself. But this incident put everything back into the right perspective.
Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands. . . . He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. ~ Psalm 112:1, 7
You, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. ~ Psalm 86:15
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Prematurity Awareness Day - Eli's Hope
Today is World Prematurity Awareness Day. Today we focus on the growing problem of premature birth. Around the world, 13 million babies are born prematurely each year. In the United States, 1 in 8 babies is born too soon. Overall, our nation scores a D on its report card, which measures preterm birth rates against the Healthy People 2010 goals. With all the medical advances in Neonatal Intensive Care Units and the like, you might think that most premature babies end up being just fine. But even babies that are born a few weeks early run the risk of having serious, lifelong medical complications. And preterm birth is the #1 cause of death for all babies in the first month of life.
At 30 weeks gestation and weighing only 3 pounds, our son Eli entered the world. He spent 5 weeks in 2 different Neonatal Intensive Care Units. Every moment was a challenge as his tiny body fought to survive. But after just a few days in the NICU, it was apparent that this little guy was a fighter. He got to go home earlier than expected, as the doctors had predicted that he'd have to stay in the hospital until his due date. But even when he went home, he spent another 5 weeks on supplemental oxygen. Six years later, Eli is a strong, healthy little boy with a ton of energy! His life is truly a miracle, which can only be attributed to a mighty and loving God putting His hand on Eli, and working through those wonderful NICU doctors and nurses.
Because of our own personal experiences, we are creating a nonprofit organization called Eli's Hope. And we are on a mission to share Christ's love with the families of NICU babies. We strive to provide hope in the midst of sorrow, and peace in the midst of chaos. The first contact we’ll have with a NICU family will be through their receipt of a gift bag that our volunteers have lovingly and prayerfully put together. We also plan to organize various interactive events for the parents at the hospital, so that we can minister to them on a more personal level. In addition, we hope to be able to provide some baby items and/or clothing to some disadvantaged families. And on occasion, if the unthinkable happens, we will have a special gift bag that is lovingly prepared to help the family cope with such a great loss.
Having a child in the NICU is never an experience that anyone is prepared for. Eli's Hope is here to help make the rough places smooth for NICU families, only by the grace of God. We appreciate your prayers as we begin the lengthy process of incorporating Eli’s Hope as a 501(c)3 organization. We hope to begin officially serving NICU families some time after the first of the year. In the meantime, we’re doing our part to raise awareness and build connections with people in our local hospitals.
To find out more about prematurity and how you can help, visit www.marchofdimes.com
At 30 weeks gestation and weighing only 3 pounds, our son Eli entered the world. He spent 5 weeks in 2 different Neonatal Intensive Care Units. Every moment was a challenge as his tiny body fought to survive. But after just a few days in the NICU, it was apparent that this little guy was a fighter. He got to go home earlier than expected, as the doctors had predicted that he'd have to stay in the hospital until his due date. But even when he went home, he spent another 5 weeks on supplemental oxygen. Six years later, Eli is a strong, healthy little boy with a ton of energy! His life is truly a miracle, which can only be attributed to a mighty and loving God putting His hand on Eli, and working through those wonderful NICU doctors and nurses.
Because of our own personal experiences, we are creating a nonprofit organization called Eli's Hope. And we are on a mission to share Christ's love with the families of NICU babies. We strive to provide hope in the midst of sorrow, and peace in the midst of chaos. The first contact we’ll have with a NICU family will be through their receipt of a gift bag that our volunteers have lovingly and prayerfully put together. We also plan to organize various interactive events for the parents at the hospital, so that we can minister to them on a more personal level. In addition, we hope to be able to provide some baby items and/or clothing to some disadvantaged families. And on occasion, if the unthinkable happens, we will have a special gift bag that is lovingly prepared to help the family cope with such a great loss.
Having a child in the NICU is never an experience that anyone is prepared for. Eli's Hope is here to help make the rough places smooth for NICU families, only by the grace of God. We appreciate your prayers as we begin the lengthy process of incorporating Eli’s Hope as a 501(c)3 organization. We hope to begin officially serving NICU families some time after the first of the year. In the meantime, we’re doing our part to raise awareness and build connections with people in our local hospitals.
To find out more about prematurity and how you can help, visit www.marchofdimes.com
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Snapshot of a Lunch Mom
I walk into the school at 11:30 every day, hoping and praying that the kids in my lunch class are having a good day. I go to the milk room (there is no cafeteria in the school) and gather the 10 chocolate milks, 2 white milks, and 5 sack lunches that my class of 20 1st and 2nd graders needs. Then it’s off to Room 107 to relieve the teacher so that she can have a few moments of peace to enjoy her own lunch. The bell rings to signify the beginning of lunchtime, and I make my way through the crowd of children who are already lined up at the sink to wash their hands.
And so it begins…
Yay! Mrs. Guthrie! [Sometimes I get a few hugs.]
I have peanut butter in my lunch today.
Me too!
Okay boys, if you’ve washed your hands you may go to Room 103. [My room has been designated a peanut-free zone.]
Is today nacho day?
No, that’s tomorrow.
Hey Mrs. Guthrie, guess what?
What?
Remember that jar of candy in the corner of the room and we all had to guess how much was inside? Well I won! I get to keep all 54 pieces!
That’s great, wow! Oh, I see that _____ is absent today. Is there anybody else missing? [I’m mentally subtracting from the classroom total so that I know how many heads to count when we come back in from recess.]
No, everybody else is here.
Mrs. Guthrie, my finger is bleeding!
Okay, hold on. Let me get a band-aid.
What happened to him?
Oh man, is he bleeding?
Guys, it’s just a little scratch, he’s fine. Here ya go, buddy.
Mrs. Guthrie, I can’t find my lunch. I looked and looked. I think _____ stole it.
No he didn’t. You have one of the sack lunches, just go ahead and start eating that and we’ll look for the one you brought from home.
Mrs. Guthrie, can I go to the bathroom?
Yes, please get the pass.
Can I go to the bathroom too?
No, only one boy at a time, remember?
Mrs. Guthrie, will you open this for me?
Hey Mrs. Guthrie, guess what? I got 140 pieces of candy when I went trick-or-treating last night!
_____ sit down while you’re eating.
Are we going outside for recess today?
Mrs. _____ said that if we don’t be good up in here, then we have to lose a class stamp.
Mrs. Guthrie, I don’t like anything in my lunch. Can I go to the milk room to see if they have some fruit?
I’m done already, can I clean up?
_____, I said sit down while you’re eating.
Can we bring the soccer ball outside today?
Mrs. Guthrie, _____ keeps touching my food.
I am not!
Keep you hands in your own space please.
After 20 minutes of this constant interaction, it’s time to clean up and line up to go outside for recess. If I can get them lined up, quiet for walking through the halls, and outside to play in 5 minutes, they’ll have 15 minutes to play. The school runs a tight schedule!
Outside, the boy who thought someone else stole his lunch is pouting. When a bigger kid bumps into him, he bursts into tears and comes to find me. But I spend the majority of the time outside in peace, watching the kids to make sure they’re playing safely. Then, as the bell rings to line up and go back inside…
Mrs. Guthrie, I need a puff from my inhaler – my chest hurts.
Mrs. Guthrie, _____ and _____ are jumping off the bench!
Mrs. Guthrie, I’m afraid of _____. He’s trying to get me!
Ow! Hey, don’t push!
_____, tie your shoe before we start walking. _____, turn around and pay attention so you’ll know when the line starts moving. Is everyone here now? [I start counting heads before we go back inside.]
Even just walking back inside the building can be chaotic. The 45 minutes that I’m with the kids is literally a constant barrage of tattling, hugging, arguing, eating, playing, and goofing off. By the end of it, I can tell that my body temperature has risen (and maybe my blood pressure too!).
Some days are harder than others, of course. But honestly, I wouldn’t trade this job for anything right now. God has put me in these kids’ lives for a brief moment each day to love on them, teach them, help them, and have fun with them. After a particularly difficult day, that is what I need to remember.
Perhaps we should all remember to look at our jobs (and lives) that way. God has put each of us in a precise place, around specific people, for a particular purpose. Let’s do our best to keep that perspective, and ask God to help us see everything and everyone around us through His eyes.
"As I have loved you, so must you love one another." -- John 13:34
And so it begins…
Yay! Mrs. Guthrie! [Sometimes I get a few hugs.]
I have peanut butter in my lunch today.
Me too!
Okay boys, if you’ve washed your hands you may go to Room 103. [My room has been designated a peanut-free zone.]
Is today nacho day?
No, that’s tomorrow.
Hey Mrs. Guthrie, guess what?
What?
Remember that jar of candy in the corner of the room and we all had to guess how much was inside? Well I won! I get to keep all 54 pieces!
That’s great, wow! Oh, I see that _____ is absent today. Is there anybody else missing? [I’m mentally subtracting from the classroom total so that I know how many heads to count when we come back in from recess.]
No, everybody else is here.
Mrs. Guthrie, my finger is bleeding!
Okay, hold on. Let me get a band-aid.
What happened to him?
Oh man, is he bleeding?
Guys, it’s just a little scratch, he’s fine. Here ya go, buddy.
Mrs. Guthrie, I can’t find my lunch. I looked and looked. I think _____ stole it.
No he didn’t. You have one of the sack lunches, just go ahead and start eating that and we’ll look for the one you brought from home.
Mrs. Guthrie, can I go to the bathroom?
Yes, please get the pass.
Can I go to the bathroom too?
No, only one boy at a time, remember?
Mrs. Guthrie, will you open this for me?
Hey Mrs. Guthrie, guess what? I got 140 pieces of candy when I went trick-or-treating last night!
_____ sit down while you’re eating.
Are we going outside for recess today?
Mrs. _____ said that if we don’t be good up in here, then we have to lose a class stamp.
Mrs. Guthrie, I don’t like anything in my lunch. Can I go to the milk room to see if they have some fruit?
I’m done already, can I clean up?
_____, I said sit down while you’re eating.
Can we bring the soccer ball outside today?
Mrs. Guthrie, _____ keeps touching my food.
I am not!
Keep you hands in your own space please.
After 20 minutes of this constant interaction, it’s time to clean up and line up to go outside for recess. If I can get them lined up, quiet for walking through the halls, and outside to play in 5 minutes, they’ll have 15 minutes to play. The school runs a tight schedule!
Outside, the boy who thought someone else stole his lunch is pouting. When a bigger kid bumps into him, he bursts into tears and comes to find me. But I spend the majority of the time outside in peace, watching the kids to make sure they’re playing safely. Then, as the bell rings to line up and go back inside…
Mrs. Guthrie, I need a puff from my inhaler – my chest hurts.
Mrs. Guthrie, _____ and _____ are jumping off the bench!
Mrs. Guthrie, I’m afraid of _____. He’s trying to get me!
Ow! Hey, don’t push!
_____, tie your shoe before we start walking. _____, turn around and pay attention so you’ll know when the line starts moving. Is everyone here now? [I start counting heads before we go back inside.]
Even just walking back inside the building can be chaotic. The 45 minutes that I’m with the kids is literally a constant barrage of tattling, hugging, arguing, eating, playing, and goofing off. By the end of it, I can tell that my body temperature has risen (and maybe my blood pressure too!).
Some days are harder than others, of course. But honestly, I wouldn’t trade this job for anything right now. God has put me in these kids’ lives for a brief moment each day to love on them, teach them, help them, and have fun with them. After a particularly difficult day, that is what I need to remember.
Perhaps we should all remember to look at our jobs (and lives) that way. God has put each of us in a precise place, around specific people, for a particular purpose. Let’s do our best to keep that perspective, and ask God to help us see everything and everyone around us through His eyes.
"As I have loved you, so must you love one another." -- John 13:34
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Our Father in Heaven . . . and My Mental Videotape
This weekend our family attended a wedding. Not only did we attend, but my husband actually performed the ceremony. The couple is one that we’ve met and befriended since we moved to Chicagoland. The wedding was beautiful.
It’s been said that every wedding has that one thing that goes wrong, and then everything else falls right into place. Well, this wedding had more than one thing. (Maybe that’s good luck?) To start off with, the bridesmaid who was in charge of bringing the bride’s dress . . . FORGOT IT. So there we sat, on little white chairs in the park, watching the clouds gather for rain while we waited. Meanwhile, the bridesmaid who was in charge of the music couldn’t find her laptop. The bride’s father was lost and couldn’t find his way to the park. And as for me, I had planned to surprise the couple by videotaping the ceremony for them, but my camera was malfunctioning. I couldn’t get it to record at all. I checked and re-checked every little detail. I even prayed over it and asked God to intervene. But He remained silent.
Finally, an hour after the wedding was supposed to have started, the dress and the bride’s father had arrived. And now it was raining. Nevertheless, the ceremony began -- without music and without being videotaped (although many of the adults could be seen crouching under their umbrellas with cameras, taking pictures). When it was the bride’s turn to be escorted down the aisle, I couldn’t help myself as I began to hum the melody of “Here Comes the Bride.” Amazingly, the man behind me began to hum with me, and suddenly everyone else had joined in. It was a very cool moment.
My husband performed the ceremony without a hitch. He had everyone laughing at times, while still keeping the solemnity of the event in place. One element of the ceremony that he had suggested to the couple was to have the groom exchange father-daughter vows with the bride’s daughter. She is just 8 years old. The groom spoke first, reciting promises to love her, protect and provide for her. It was a touching notion already, but they had all of us crying by the end of it – the little girl began to cry as she heard her new father expressing his love for her and promising to be there for her. When he finished the vows, it was clear to all of us that she was in tears. There are so many hurtful things this child has already had to deal with in her few years on this earth, and she recognized immediately the significance and genuineness of her new father’s words. She really needed to hear him say those things, and she needed to believe him! As she wiped her eyes, the groom knelt down beside her, despite the soaking wet ground, and put his arms around her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, letting her tears fall freely.
What a picture of how our heavenly Father loves on us when we are broken! In the words of the Bible and through the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, the God of the universe declares His love for us. He promises to protect us and provide for us, and to work good for us through every situation. And when we are broken by the realization of the fullness of His love and grace, He is ready to kneel down and embrace us, even if it means messing up His pants.
We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way...
He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves
It’s been said that every wedding has that one thing that goes wrong, and then everything else falls right into place. Well, this wedding had more than one thing. (Maybe that’s good luck?) To start off with, the bridesmaid who was in charge of bringing the bride’s dress . . . FORGOT IT. So there we sat, on little white chairs in the park, watching the clouds gather for rain while we waited. Meanwhile, the bridesmaid who was in charge of the music couldn’t find her laptop. The bride’s father was lost and couldn’t find his way to the park. And as for me, I had planned to surprise the couple by videotaping the ceremony for them, but my camera was malfunctioning. I couldn’t get it to record at all. I checked and re-checked every little detail. I even prayed over it and asked God to intervene. But He remained silent.
Finally, an hour after the wedding was supposed to have started, the dress and the bride’s father had arrived. And now it was raining. Nevertheless, the ceremony began -- without music and without being videotaped (although many of the adults could be seen crouching under their umbrellas with cameras, taking pictures). When it was the bride’s turn to be escorted down the aisle, I couldn’t help myself as I began to hum the melody of “Here Comes the Bride.” Amazingly, the man behind me began to hum with me, and suddenly everyone else had joined in. It was a very cool moment.
My husband performed the ceremony without a hitch. He had everyone laughing at times, while still keeping the solemnity of the event in place. One element of the ceremony that he had suggested to the couple was to have the groom exchange father-daughter vows with the bride’s daughter. She is just 8 years old. The groom spoke first, reciting promises to love her, protect and provide for her. It was a touching notion already, but they had all of us crying by the end of it – the little girl began to cry as she heard her new father expressing his love for her and promising to be there for her. When he finished the vows, it was clear to all of us that she was in tears. There are so many hurtful things this child has already had to deal with in her few years on this earth, and she recognized immediately the significance and genuineness of her new father’s words. She really needed to hear him say those things, and she needed to believe him! As she wiped her eyes, the groom knelt down beside her, despite the soaking wet ground, and put his arms around her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, letting her tears fall freely.
What a picture of how our heavenly Father loves on us when we are broken! In the words of the Bible and through the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, the God of the universe declares His love for us. He promises to protect us and provide for us, and to work good for us through every situation. And when we are broken by the realization of the fullness of His love and grace, He is ready to kneel down and embrace us, even if it means messing up His pants.
We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way...
He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves
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