Brutal Honesty

Just in case anyone out there has any lofty ideas about minister’s wives . . . or about Christians for that matter -- we’re still human, and we still sin.

Today I told a lie. To a complete stranger. For no good reason. I lied to a sales lady about why I wasn’t going to buy a particular item. There were a million other truthful things I could have said in response to her question. But instead I lied. Almost immediately I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

Some people might think that a little lie like that is no big deal. Especially because I’ll probably never see that woman again. But God’s purpose for believers is to be holy. Obviously that will never truly happen while I’m still on this earth. I’m already tainted with sin. I was born into it. But I’m supposed to strive for holiness. Believers in Christ have been given a new nature, born again, with the counsel of the Holy Spirit constantly accessible. We are called to repent of our sin, to turn away from it and pursue righteousness. And I failed to do that this morning.

I confessed my sin to the Lord on the way home, agreeing with Him that what I did was wrong. I actually cried about it. (Maybe that was a little basketcase-like.) And as I sat there simmering in self-hatred and beating myself up over it, feeling like a total failure as a “missionary,” the Lord reminded me that I need to accept His forgiveness. And then move forward. And that means being more conscious of my responses to people in the future. More deliberate about always being honest. Not worrying about what other people think. Not being ashamed or uncomfortable when I’m approached with a question.

Isn’t the Lord good? He doesn’t want us to let guilt weigh us down. But at the same time, He does discipline us, convict us of our sins, and command us to be different from the world. The ultimate reason for His discipline is that we will be restored into fellowship with Him. It’s His kindness that leads to repentance . . . which leads to reconciliation with God.

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.... When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.... What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:18-19, 21, 24-25)